Thursday, 29 March 2012

This is what you get when you blindly vote for someone just because they’re wearing a red rosette.
The Northern Echo: A LABOUR politician has stunned his town council colleagues by claiming his “real mother” is a 9ft green alien with eight fingers.
Councillor Simon Parkes, who was elected to represent Stakesby ward on Whitby Town Council last month, said although he has had hundreds of close encounters with extra-terrestrials, it will not interfere with his mission to help residents at the seaside resort.
Speaking on YouTube, Coun Parkes said he first saw an alien at the age of eight months, when “a traditional kite-shaped face”, with huge eyes, tiny nostrils and a thin mouth appeared over his cot.
He said: “Two green stick things came in. I was aware of some movement over my head. I thought, ‘they’re not mummy’s hands, mummy’s hands are pink’.”
He added: “I was looking straight into its face. It enters my mind through my eyes and it sends a message down my optic nerve into my brain.
“It says ‘I am your real mother, I am your more important mother’.”
He said after contracting chicken pox at the age of three, his mother went to work and left him at home to fend for himself when an 8ft “doctor” dressed as a waiter appeared to offer help.
As an 11-year-old, he claims he was taken on a craft by his alien “mother”, and made a deal with the beings on board.
He said: “The reason extraterrestrials are interested in me is not because of my physical body, but because of what is inside me. My soul.”
Coun Parkes said his extraterrestrial beliefs “did not come up on the doorstep” while he was campaigning recently.
He said: “I get more common sense out of the aliens than out of Scarborough Town Hall. The aliens are far more aware of stuff. People in the Town Hall seem not to be aware of the needs of Whitby.”


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